Life On Pause - Finding God in Times of Waiting

The end of my college graphic-design class was drawing near as I clicked “submit” on the last big project. I had submitted about 250 points worth of assignments, and since it was a condensed class, it was going to be the difference between a C or an A.
 
Being a perfectionist, I really,reallywanted an A, and those couple weeks of waiting were torture! I would check my online “blackboard” several times a day - did I get my grade yet?
 
It was sohard to wait!
 
Whether you are awaiting a grade to a big project, wondering if a special person is going to come into your life, or anxiously checking your email to see if you got the job, waiting is such a challenge!
 
But as I have been learning, times of silence are inevitable in the Christian walk.
 
Over the last couple months, I have really been seeking the Lord on His will for my life. Being a senior in high-school raises a lot of questions! I often wondered, “What does my future look like? What career path should I choose? Am I using my time efficiently? Will I make an impact on the world?” 
 
I felt like there was something He wanted me to do, but it was like I kept bumping into one wall after another trying to find it.
 
Though I didn’t realize it then, the Lord was using that time of waiting to strengthen my relationship with Him.
 
While they are never pleasant, times of waiting can be the times where we grow the most, when our relationship moves to a deeper level. Those times--when we feel like our prayers are hitting the ceiling and like God is so far away--are when we really need to trust, to learn to rely not on how we feel, but on who He is.
 
Over the past couple years, I have often heard the phrase “Delighting in the Lord” while waiting on Him. And for a long time, I thought, “If I am delighting in the Lord, I’ll be all happy and starry-eyed.” 
 
But that’s not it at all! Instead, it means that I need to place my hope in Him and wait for His timing, instead of doubting or worrying about my situation. 
 
I’m reminded of the sheep on my family’s farm. It’s fun to look out the window and see them grazing contentedly in the pasture. 
 
But, when supper-time comes around, the contended grazing turns to discontented “maa-ing.”
 
What the demanding sheep don’t know is that their shepherd is un-tarping the hay stack, choosing the right proportions, making sure the hay isn’t moldy or dirty, and carrying it down to them. They just can’t see it, so they feel like he is taking foreverto get there.
 
I tend to be the same way… I don’t see my Shepherd working behind the scenes, working the details out for my good, doing what is best for me... So I start to “maa” about my situation. 
 
It’s sohard for me to sit back and trust, to “be still and wait.” I want to dash forward, scan the whole roadmap, and peek at the schedule of events for my life.
 
So far, it hasn’t worked out that way.  
 
But that is the beauty of a relationship with the Lord! To learn to wait on Him, delighting in Him, is one of the greatest joys of the follower of Christ! If we could see all the plans in the future, we could never fully put our trust in Him. Plus, we might be terrified of what was coming.
 
Sometimes in the long nights of life, it is so hard to see God working. We feel alone and lost. But God is working behind the scenes, sending us encouragement when we need it most. 
 
In the past week, after waiting for God to give me direction on what I was missing, a couple from our church asked if I wanted to help out in their ministry. It was so the Lord’s direction! I was nervous at first, but when I got there, I knew it was God’s will, that He had led me to the perfect place.
 
The waiting was hard, but my relationship is so much stronger because of it.
 
If you are waiting on the Lord, waiting for Him to direct, don’t be afraid. As Psalm 46:10 reminds us, “Be still and know that I am God.” [NIV]
 
*Update* The ministry opportunity worked out and God has done some amazing things! I am so blessed! When you wait for God, He does great things!